Path to Progeny

OMG!!! 3 po.....

sorry I did that schtick last post.

I have decided to write a wee post about the steps to progeny. Specifically for myself. There are 3 phases I have come up with. I will attempt to relay them to you.

Phase 1 - Collection

Now you may think I mean collection of kidlets, but this is not the case. Collection refers to the inevitable phase just after you announce to people you are planning to procreate sometime in the future. Family members, friends, or people you barely know, start gifting baby items for you. Case in point, I will soon be the proud owner of a slightly used crib. Very nice model if I do say so myself. Sightly chewed, but the one to live in it won't mind a bit. The plan for progeny is still 3 years away. I think the collection phase can work in your favour, as long as you have storage space. Which brings me to,

Phase 2 - Preparation

This is the phase where you must prepare for the offspring. Things to consider are; Do you have enough baby clothes? Have you stopped drinking? (quite important for the woman, more important for the man to support said woman) Did you take your multivitamin today? Do you have a visible 6 pack or the 6 pack that hides under the layer of storage food for the baby? etc.

Also part of this phase is the "Should you buy a house" plan. This plan is worked into our spreadsheet of awesome, courtesy of the hubby, and the house purchase could be as soon as 2.5 years away. (psst no one is getting christmas presents next year. Kidding!!) Also in the search for a house is the search for a rental that has enough storage space (ie: basement/garage) to store all of the items gathered in Phase 1. This preparation is presently ongoing. Basement may soon be procured.

Phase 3 - HAVE THE BABY!!!

I'm told this is the fun and excruciating part. Then you get to use up all the items from phases 1 and 2 and you can happily contribute to someone else's Phase 1 after said items have diminished in value for the parents, or the kidlet.

Unless you're planning progeny #2. Things should be kept for a modicum of time, possibly a year, before they are considered "used" and "unworthy" and "HOLY CRAP! There's a BASEMENT under here!" boxes.

Thanks for tuning into the Path to Progeny. Stay tuned for next week's episode "How to get a haircut!"

TTFN!