Mother's Day (this year it's for real)

Last year on mother's day I was almost a mother.

I hear you say "but Jen, How can you ALMOST be a mother?"

My thoughts exactly. This is the argument I posed to my other half in 2013.
I was 8 months pregnant.
Obviously mother hood was imminent.
It wasn't like I was going to change my mind suddenly.

DO OVER!!!! what do you mean no take backs!!! They didn't tell me that in the brochure! 

I was feeling charitable, and I wasn't physically able to bring down the hurt, so he lived for another day.

This year more than made up for the small oversight of an inside vs outside baby.

I got a handmade card full of goodies, in the form of coupons, good for hugs, dish washing, kid bathing and nights out. I get to spend them throughout the year, to prolong my celebration of being a Mom. I even got to go out for breakfast. ;)

I happened to see a video of kids bringing their mom fruit, which got dropped on the floor multiple times. For the record, I am perfectly happy getting up to eat breakfast at the table. (Do not feed me floor food... ever!)
Which brings me to how grateful I am about said breakfast out. It could only be better if I could have gone in my pyjamas. I should have. The waiters would have given me a side eye I think.

With my first coupon, I was able to get myself some treats. I got 4 balls of yarn to make myself something and I got a summer tea pack from David's Tea. Can't wait to break that out.

The hugs coupon is good for one million transactions. I'm not keeping track. I don't know if I could use them all in a lifetime. Hey math people, you should figure out how many hugs I'd have to take in one day to be able to use up my coupon! (send me the results)

It says something that I'm up at midnight writing this. I feel most like a mother as I'm waiting for my offspring to figure out that it is not yet morning. Yes, the tylenol will work on your teeth. No, your diaper isn't wet. Really, I haven't abandoned you by leaving the room while you're standing there looking at me. It's midnight. I need to sleep too! (he doesn't know I can see him with my magic camera)

YESSS!!! He's down!!! ...... *knock on wood*

I CAN'T FIND A PIECE OF WOOD!!!!

Does anyone have a tree I can borrow?

TTFN!

Kids are gross

I'm pretty sure this line has been uttered by every parent ever.

In the entire history of the earth.


Kids are the most gross in the middle of the night. When they wake you up because of some bodily fluid they happen to be spewing.

Right now there's a sick baby in the other room. He's got a fountain of snot where his nose used to be.

It renders him incapable of breathing, therefore he is super agitated about this new development and resorts to complaining in the only way he knows how. Tear factory.

He cries when he's coughing.
He cries when he's snotting.
He cries when I try to fix it.
He cries when I'm done.

And now I have to worry about a measles outbreak. I'm pretty sure a rash all over would make him even more pleasant. not.

I think this is the stage in parenting where your parents are giggling in corners about the whole predicament. They remember how YOU used to be. I think time has dulled those memories.

This is why parents and adult children get into disagreements about the whole situation. It's never as bad as it is when it's happening to you. Right now. At 4 o'clock in the morning. An hour and a half before the alarm goes off. While you sneak out of bed as quietly as possible because you're still on maternity leave and you want a happy spouse in the morning.

So yeah

Kids are gross.
I'm so looking forward to other instances of grossness. *cries in the corner*

TTFN